Come on, do you really follow mommy-advice anyway?

I was recently asked what's the best piece of advice I could give about being a mom.

Thinking about my posts on this blog, I mentally shuffled through these stories; things I've done wrong, done right, got positive results, got negative ones. But really, who really follows advice? I NEVER listen to advice, even if I've asked for it. I have to learn for myself by DOING. I've never learned any lesson by following instructions or orders from others.

Every kid is unique, ask anyone (and usually they'll tell you that their kid is gifted or uber-intelligent or reads novels at age 4. It's hilarious the lengths that parents go to prove how special their kid is). What works on my kid could send yours into a blind rage, who knows?

I guess I don't have 'advice'. We just have a very simple rule we follow religiously at Chez Vinson. Our child lives with us, we don't live with her--period. Like the masthead states, "I'm the boss, applesauce!" She is not a 'ma'am', I'm the 'ma'am'. She's the child for crissakes, not me.

Things were different when I was growing up. I'd pass out from shock if my mother gingerly begged me to stop climbing the walls at Target; following it up with a gentle nursery school voiced "No ma'am... we don't climb the walls at Target. Now, please come down from that rafter so that I may give you a cookie." Are you kidding me? The kids of today are going to grow up to be a bunch of self important assholes, just you wait and see.

Here's an idea: Have two kids! Screw up the first one, then learn from your mistakes with the second. At the very least you'll only have to pay for therapy for one kid. Oh, and another thing... Dewars really helps.