ipoop

I apologize in advance but I have to share a little toilet humor...har har-I kill myself. Salem woke up yesterday and robotically performed her early morning routine. This routine consists of a large frown, tussled bed-hair, her whining about not wanting to wake up or being hungry, cold, upset about going to school -or- insert garden variety complaint here:_______. This pissy-pants attitude accompanies her while she enters the restroom where she proceeds to complain about some aspect of relieving herself. Yes, it is understood that the kid is not a morning person. While on the potty, she shouted out to me as I was scurrying around in the kitchen preparing her breakfast, “Mom! I have an ipoop! Come look!”

I pondered for a moment about just what an ipoop would look like, but hesitated. I have no desire to stare into the toilet and critique Salem’s morning poo. I responded, “Salem, I’m happy that you have had an ipoop, but let’s keep this to yourself, I don’t need to see it. Furthermore, let’s not share our poo with anyone, okay? Not at school, not with your friends, teachers or anyone, okay?”

I suppose this is natural for a 4 year old. Lots of kids like to share their fecal creations and are very proud of what they have made. Having the weakest stomach of anyone I’ve ever known, I decided during potty training to veto all toilet shows. She was very disappointed with this lesson, but a queasy mom’s got to put her foot down.