Favorite Food

Salem's favorite food is Vietnamese crab cakes, we get them at a local restaurant. They are comprised of egg, shrimp, crab and I'm guessing the secret ingredient is none other than manure. let me just say, in so few words, they make me want to hurl.

The odor is reminiscent of a combination of a shrimp omlette, vienna sausage and fried onions with a smack of turned ham.

1. They look like the cross section from the thigh of a cadaver.
2. They smell like the underside of an Louisiana mud-eating carp.
3. Her breath, despite my brushing her teeth obsessively, stinks for days.
4. She will go on and on about how much she loves them. In the car on the way to the restaurant, before we order, during our meal and all the way home.
5. I have some left overs of said crab cakes in my fridge as we speak. I'm trying to recall if she remembers bringing them home? If they disappeared, would she accuse me of foul play or would she even know?

I think I have a new experiment at hand...