Red Button = End Call

I spoke to Salem on the phone yesterday--I think this is her least favorite task. I wanted to know how her day at school was and if she were behaving, ect.

She huffed and puffed and really couldn't be bothered. Normally, when we speak on the phone she'll say "Hi mom!" and quickly follow that salutation with "ILOVEYOUBYE !" Yes, all one word.

But last night she went off on a mantra, "I have to talk to you, and brush my teeth, and put on my pajamas and hear a story and then go to bed and I'm mad!"

She then said something about ice cream; I mean I really got an ear full. I asked her to calm down as she was starting to sound like an angry drag queen who was just informed that they closed the Chanel counter at the local mall.

She refused to calm down and my inquiry about her nutty behavior escalated her rant.

"Salem, babe! Relax! Calm down. You need to go to bed soon and you're getting yourself all worked up. You need to chill out, kid... Now, are you chill?"

her: "ILOVEYOUBYE!"
me: "Wait! I need to know you've chilled out, are you?"
(Imagine her voice sounding like Jan Brady when she's been upset with Marsha... oh crap, does that date me too much?)
her: "Gosh Mom! I don't like all this talking on the phone! Can I press the red button now?"
me: "Okay, I love you, bye!"

And that was that. Apparently the red button really is the "Easy Button".