Screaming Like You Wouldn't Believe

Salem and I were drying off after a quick shower this morning. She hid her hand behind her back and said,
"Mom, don't EVER NEVER pick at this, OKAY?"
With that sentiment, of course I was immediately curious as to what on earth she was referring to. I'm not sure if reverse psychology is intended here, but that's certainly how I understood that statement.
(I hate that word, psychology. I've never been able to spell it right without spellcheck. When will I learn?)

I grabbed her paw, turned it over and noticed a huge splinter in her palm. I mean, this thing looked like a piece of wild rice.

me: "Oh, it's a splinter! No big deal - Your hand is wet and I bet it will be wicked easy to remove. It prolly won't hurt at all!"

her: "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! STOP!! NO MOMMY, NO!!" She squealed and shouted like I was going to remove her left eyeball with a rusty spoon. I thought for sure the neighbors were going to call DFCS, wisk her away and throw me in jail.

To make matters worse, we were both nude, dripping wet from our shower, and I was struggling with her as if it were some awkward made for high-ratings WWF match. I reached for my trusty tweezers in my make up bag while holding her in a headlock. She was screaming all the while. I let loose enough to unfold her little fist to reveal the splinter. You see, I'm a tweezing master, owning my title of The Patron Saint of Hair Removal. I noticed quickly that this job was a piece of cake.

As her mouth was open and screaming, I quickly reached in like a bird snatching a fish out of the water and yanked that nasty thing out of her hand. She stopped screaming straight away and in this short moment of placidity, she looked up at me and said, "Wow. That didn't hurt!"

This was followed by, "Lemme see it! Is it bloody and gross!!"
I love how she changes from petrified screaming child to gross-out-fiend in an instant.